Today I fell down a flight of stairs due to the fact I was mopping my hardwood floors.  Two days ago I fell down a flight of stairs because I was doing laundry.  The only thing I can take from these experiences is to stop cleaning my house. I have a bruise that looks like a flower tramp stamp on my lower back.  To top it off, my heel got stuck in a sidewalk crack while crossing Market Street and I ate it resulting in Lena road kill and a bloody knee that won't heal.  All of this was dead sober, mind you.  I wish I had the excuse of alcohol for eating shit all the time.

So in my pain, I'm deciding to not leave the house, stay upstairs, and cook for everyone who crosses my path.  My sister informed me it's Friday (insert song here).  That means no meat for us good little Catholic girls.  This is clearly something I would have forgotten, like hypercolor T-shirts or when Kelly from 90210 had that cocaine issue (ok, I don't forget much) .  I texted Jenny Bradley (best Vegan friend and amazing cook) for ideas, she obviously must have a job or something and couldn't get back to me.  So, Lena Fay's Veggie recipes, Here we go!  Hell ya I dated a Vegan for years! But this has eggs in it so scratch that.  And hell, I'm putting cheese in there!  It was obviously a bad break up.  May as well through some veal in the mix (totally kidding Jenny)



Dad Fay's Pasta Sauce:
3 Tablespoons olive oil
1 onion (he used yellow/I use red)
5ish cloves garlic
good canned tomatoes from Italy (2 cans)
Cheap red wine (a glass)
salt to taste
Fresh Basil

Heat oil and add diced onion on medium.

 Cook on low until onions are translucent.  Add diced garlic.  Cook until fragrant (4mins).  Deglaze with wine.

Quickly add tomatoes after straining them through a food mill.  Leave on low heat for as long as you can.  I let the basil and salt hang out on top.  So simple! That's so not me.  It's my little sister. But, she food milled it up!

Lena Fay's Eggplant:
I have been told to give this up for Lent instead of alcohol before.  Yeah, it's that good, and EASY!
1 eggplant or 2 if you are in the mood, I like the mood
bowl of flour
bowl of 5 beat eggs salt and peppered
bowl of bread crumbs mixed with parmesan cheese
frying oil (I use olive oil and it has a low smoke point, so beware, but I'm scared of most frying oils so this makes me happy)

Get a good eggplant (when in season of course PS-the season just started!)
Slice and salt to remove the bitter taste of eggplant for 1/2 hour
rinse eggplant of salt

begin the process:
flour then
slice of eggplant in the egg mixture
then bread crumbs/parm
then fry until crispy

Start layering in a really cool dish!

Fried eggplant
Mozzarella
Dad's sauce
REPEAT

Bake at 350* until cheese melts (I go about 1/2 hour or an hour, this is subjective)
Stop falling down stairs and drink some vino rosso.  It's a good day!

Oh my dear, I wish I could cook forever... Then I wouldn't have to have jobs or go to school ever again.

There's no stopping a Lena Fay

Yesterday was dear Steven Fay's last night in town.  One of the many last nights in town he has.  So of course it made complete sense to go to the Philosopher's Club and chat about nothing and drink heavily.  During this experience my sister showed up but failed to witness my three shots of Fernet with the bartender.  This morning she told me "I should have told you not to order another drink, you were crazy!" A little to late there sis.  But there is no stopping a Lena Fay.  When the crazy smile starts and I'm in love with a wall, good luck!  All my friends continued to say "Don't worry Leenz, your class isn't until 4pm!" Thank God I didn't convince some random guy to play megatouch with me.

To top it all off I missed the Price is Right today, a staple in my morning ritual. And I have an oral presentation at San Francisco State about students with multiple disabilities and communication and mobility devices.  And I'm rocking a Micky's 40 hoodie with old man shoe slippers and glasses once again. There may be a reason I've been single for a year now.  But, I introduced an Italian to 7 layer bean dip. Universe restored!

It is a cool hoodie

How is an Italian's mind blown one may ask?  just like this....

Layer:
refried beans
onions (diced)
sour cream
avocado (lightly salted and diced)
salsa
jalapenos
grated cheese (grate it yourself, way better)
in some kind of platter/bowl

and a Negra Modelo with lime (you don't have to layer that).

An Italian (my brother)                                An American (my sister)

Both enjoy seven layer bean dip and look amazing in the morning.

My favorite part of explaining such a trailer trash dish to an Italian was letting him know you don't need a fork.  You chip this stuff!